Does He Still Feel the Nails?

 Well, here I am again. It has been many years since I have written in this Blog, but I woke up rather early this morning hearing "Write It", but as usual, I waited for the urge to pass. While making and drinking my coffee, I heard it again, "Write It". When the Spirit is telling me to do something, He is relentless and although I should know by now that ignoring Him won't make Him go away, I try to fight it until I give in. So, here I am back on Cat's Chat.

At my Tuesday night Ladies Bible Study, we were discussing where we still struggle in our walk with Jesus, most notably our Sin. I shared that while I have made incredible changes in who I am now from who I was "pre" Jesus, I still fall short, multiple times, daily. One thing I shared, was that I often wonder when I sin, Does He still feel the nails? And given today is Good Friday, I understand now why the Spirit kept nudging me. 

Good Friday, marks the day that Jesus Christ went to the cross to reunite us with God through the ultimate sacrifice, His life. We could never live a life worthy of God on our own, so God sent Jesus to live a life without sin on our behalf. Then He suffered the painful death, our sins deserve. John 3:17 says, "God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him."  Thinking on the fact that Jesus bore the weight of my sins on the cross, has me both euphoric and heartsick. The excitement of Easter and knowing that by His death on the cross and His resurrection, our sins are washed away, can in some ways, become an idea that is somewhat "fluff". We know it, we say it, but do we really get it? Do we ALWAYS remember what that entailed? 

After His conviction, Jesus was flogged, beaten with whips that contained pieces of bone and metal, that tore His flesh with every lash. At any time, Jesus, could have called on a legion of angels to stop this madness, but He didn't. Then, after being tortured, spat upon and mocked, He was nailed to the cross. This is where it gets me...

I can hear the clanging of metal on metal, as the hammer struck the nails, and I hear the anguished cries of pain and I begin to think of my sin. With each strike, I envision, each one of my sins: greed, selfishness, anger, harsh words, apathy, the list goes on and on and I wonder, if today, every time I sin, Does Jesus still feel the nails? Does He feel His flesh tear and His bones break over and over again? What a heartbreaking and sobering thought! How dare I take such an amazing gift of love and sacrifice and continually abuse it! Yes, Jesus' grace and mercy abounds and He is loving and forgiving, but is MY continual sin a way of continual suffering for my Savior? Sadly, I think it is.

I wish I could say these sobering thoughts keep me from sinning, but I know that I will not be sinless until the day I meet Him face to face. What I can say, is that I no longer look at my sin through the "I'm forgiven by the blood of Jesus rose colored glasses" but instead I look at my sin as driving a fresh nail through the very hands that lift me up or a sword piercing the heart of the One who loves me the most. Yes, there is comfort in knowing I am saved by His blood, but there is a sobering determination to be better, and do better, when I think that my sin brings Him pain. 

So ask yourself...Does He still feel the nails every time I sin?

Good Friday, brings the cost of our sin to light. The grace and mercy afforded to us through the death and resurrection is not earned and certainly not deserved, but was freely given out of God's abundant love for us. Romans 5:8 God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

If you have accepted this gift of salvation, never take it for granted. If you have not, Jesus waits for you, arms wide open so run into them.

Sunday's Coming!
God Bless!
Cat

What's in Your Wallet?

When most hear the question "What's in your wallet?", their mind ultimately goes to the Capital One commercial, talking about how beneficial their credit card is to have. For me, it's the dust in my wallet or the lint in my pocket where money isn't. But this question came to my mind today for another reason. One, not necessarily related to money, but rather something intangible.

It's no secret that I have been a follower of Jesus Christ for many years; 18 to be exact. I like to believe that my faith is unshakable, that I am fully confident in God's abilities and that I fully trust Him, but the truth is all of these things are a daily struggle for me.  Let me say unequivocally that this is not because God has failed me ever, It is because, I, in the face of trial, fail God. I revert to self-preservation and what I can do to fix my situation, even when it seems beyond anything I am capable of. Of course I will pray and ask God to help with whatever situation I am facing, but as quick as I say the word, Amen, I pick back up the fear, the anxiety, the pain, the disillusionment, the anger, the sorrow, or situation that I just offered to Him.  Instead of trusting things in His capable hands, I pick them right back up, in my own weak and feeble hands. And guess what, it just leads to more anxiety, fear, pain, disillusionment, anger and sorrow.

When life is good and things are going well, complacency sets in and my prayer life, for myself, becomes non-existent. I will fervently pray for the needs of others and thank God when He has answered the prayers lifted for others, but when it comes to daily communion with God, to just acknowledge all He has given me, sadly, I fail at that. I'm ashamed to admit that I am guilty of putting God in my pocket, like a credit card, to be pulled out when I "need" Him.

I am not deflecting because I am guilty of everything below, but I think that a lot of people are guilty of this as well. When our marriages are happy and life is just rolling along, God is in our pockets. We aren't thanking Him for the blessing of our spouse or our children and we take the good times for granted. But when our marriages hit a rocky patch and anger, disillusionment, resentment and pain, bubble to the surface, we reach for our pocket and pull out the God card. Suddenly, we are on our knees praying for God to fix whatever the problems may be and we flood social media with references of God like He's our newest best friend.

When our finances are in ruins and the bills are beyond what is coming in, hopelessness sets in. There's fear of losing your home; you hide your vehicle to keep it from being repossessed and the only time your telephone rings is when a bill collector calls. It all becomes so overwhelming and frightening. You don't know where to turn, so you reach for your pocket and pull out the God card.

Feelings of failure and uselessness set in when we lose a job. Our self-esteem and self-worth go down the toilet because we feel we have no purpose. Everyday tasks become a chore because depression sets in and even getting out of bed becomes difficult. Not knowing where to turn, we reach for the God card in our pocket.

An unexpected diagnosis, chronic illness, depression, anxiety, and even death, all times when you feel you have no where else to turn, you reach for what's in your pocket, God.

Let me be very clear in this, God WANTS you to come to Him all your troubles. He wants you to trust Him with your every need. He wants you to express your anger, your sorrow, your disillusionment, and your pain. "Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened. And I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28  God desires to be your source and strength when you are in need.  But what He desires above all is a relationship with you that is not one of convenience. God desires to hear our joys and our thankfulness. He desires to hear our worship and our praise. God wants to know that we love Him and more than anything He wants to know that we recognize how much He loves us.
Even in our unfaithfulness, He is faithful! "If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself." 2 Timothy 2:13

There is a huge difference between the cards we decide to pull out of our pockets. If I pull the credit card out when I need it, its satisfies the immediate need or want; the pair of shoes, the groceries, that slice of pizza. While some credit cards offer benefits for their use, the fact remains that it's going to cost me for quite some time. The God card is not a credit card. It is not intended to be used just when you need it. It's intended to be used at all times, without cost. There is no interest, no annual APR and no redeemable points, but this card never expires, has a limitless credit limit and isn't just for wants or needs. This card entitles you to a constant companion; a lifelong partner; someone who wants to share all aspects of your life,good and bad. And yes, its good for our needs as well. The cost to use this card is simple, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart,with all your soul and with all your mind." Matthew 22:37.

When you apply for and accept the God card, the rewards are endless. Your problems won't necessary all disappear, but facing them will be much easier than without it. With every use, your faith will become stronger, loneliness will disappear, peace will be restored to your soul and joy will find you again.

So in closing, I'm asking, "What's is your wallet?" Do you need to pull that God card out and keep it in your hand? Has God been your go to person with everything that is going on in your life, good and bad or has He been your credit card? Credit cards can get you in trouble; God never will.

Until next time, I've got my God card out and I'm gonna use it until it smokes!
God Bless,
Cat

Not The Flesh But The Spirit

I have sat down to write this blog several times over the past week, even started a few sentences only to have the words elude me.  As I've told my readers, I write when the Spirit instructs me and when that happens the words fly from my fingertips. Obviously, what I was trying to write was not Spirit filled and when I look back at the feelings I was having, there is no doubt. See feelings of hatred are not from the Spirit. The Spirit is a source of Love, Peace, Compassion, and Hope. I can honestly say, I have not been Spirit filled these past few days.

On April 23, I was reminded that 37 years ago, my father, Sergeant Robert Barlow of the Baltimore City Police Department, died in the line of duty. He wasn't shot by a perpetrator, but died of a massive heart attack after saving the lives of four different people while on duty.  With all of the hatred directed at the Baltimore City Police Department, I couldn't help but take it personally and this angered me. Not only did my father die, protecting and serving the city I grew up in, but I have many friends and family members that have sworn to do the same thing and are holding the thin blue line as we speak.  I suppose it is the sinner in me that naturally wants to rant, place blame, and point fingers at the rioters and their senseless acts of violence. Naturally, I want to blame government officials for the way the did or didn't handle things.  And I passed judgment on the parents of the ones involved.  I wanted to and have responded with negative comments on social media all in the name of "getting my point" across.  Definitely, not the act of the Spirit, but of my flesh.

As I sat glued to the television last night, watching the destruction unfold before my eyes and listening to the police scanner reporting violence in the very neighborhood I grew up in, it hit me.  No amount of complaining on social media; no amount of finger pointing and no amount of name calling is going to make a difference.  The only thing that can make a difference is God and His Holy Spirit. After Jesus was tried, convicted and put death, He rose again and appeared to His followers.  He didn't return to name call, point fingers, or seek vengeance on those who wrongly accused Him; instead He returned and baptized His followers with the Holy Spirit, commissioning them to go into the world and spread the Gospel.

We are living in a lost society. A society where many feel hopeless, abandoned, lost, confused, angry and hurt. Those that do not know or have not witnessed the love of the Lord Jesus Christ, through His followers, have nothing to hang their hat on but their earthly ways. Their actions and reactions are based on these empty, fleshly emotions. I can understand that. When I lost my father, I was 12 years old. I was angry, really angry and that anger followed me and festered within me well into my early twenties. I acted and reacted in the most destructive ways, because I didn't know any other way. It wasn't until I was introduced to the grace, mercy and love of Jesus, that my soul was healed. That introduction came through people who didn't cram the Bible down my throat or drag me into a church service, rather they simply showed me through their actions, the same unconditional love, acceptance and forgiveness they had through the Lord.  Recognizing their peace, made me want what they had.

The solidarity of those preachers who marched through Baltimore City in front of the officers, yesterday was an example of the peace that is promoted by Jesus Christ. It was a living, breathing example of what we are told in the book of Romans. Chapter 12, verse 21 says, "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Unfortunately, this one act is not going to be enough to change years of disillusionment. However, the good news is that our God is relentless in His pursuit of the lost and as His disciples, we should also be relentless. The time is now for the followers of God to actively pursue, with love and prayer, the lost.

James 1:27 says, "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." The orphans and widows are our neighbors; these angry young people who know no other way to express themselves then through violence. It is time for us to unite and make it our mission to pray for, work with, mentor and educate our young generation. Not with brimstone and fire, but with love, understanding and compassion.

Every follower of God, is commissioned to do these things, though each in the way they are called. Some are called to march in peace; some are called to provide food and drinks for our law enforcement; some are called to join in mentoring programs; some are called to stand on corners; some are called to help in the clean up and some are called to pray in solitude. Romans 8:5, "Those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires." But what we are all called to do is love one another. After all that is the great commandment. Matthew 22:37-39, And He said to them, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And you shall love your neighbor as yourself."    

Today, I implore everyone to let the Spirit lead you, but I encourage everyone to share a smile and a kind word with a stranger. I encourage everyone to pray for redemption, healing, safety and resolution for the Gray family, the disillusioned rioters, our law enforcement and military, the City of Baltimore and State of Maryland and their leaders as well as our country as a whole.  God is using these events as a teachable moment for everyone. Let's learn from it; grow from it and further the Kingdom because of it. God is and always will be in control and His Spirit will triumph in all of this.

For my part in the "hating", I ask for forgiveness. The Spirit has convicted me.

Until next time, I pray the Lord Jesus bless and protect everyone!
Cat

This Blood is For You

The darkness of the room provided a certain security from the outside world.  Although light does not illuminate the room she sits curled up in, the sun shines brightly on the other side of the tightly drawn drapes.  Those drapes are representative of the charade she portrays to everyone around her; a barrier of sorts.  To everyone who knows her, she's quirky and funny; strong in her faith in God and happy. On the inside, there is a cyclone of insecure and destructive thoughts, swirling within her soul.

Tears stream down her face and these thoughts cut deep. You are ugly! You are fat! You are weak! You have failed your family! Who could possibly want to be your friend? And your husband! Let's talk about your husband! He deserves so much more than you! You are reckless and your household finances are in shambles! You are worth more dead than you are alive! Just give up! Give it up already! The words are loud, furious, and cutting, but exactly how she is feeling.

The tears flow so freely, that she feels them drip onto her arms and her tightly clasped hands, but as she reaches to wipe them, she is horrified at what she sees. Blood! Droplets of blood freckle her arms and hands. Bewildered at the sight of blood, where she thought there were tears, she instinctively touches her face and her hands are now covered in blood. Horror, envelopes her and she runs to the bathroom to see from where this blood is coming.  Flipping on the light switch, her eyes instantly meet the image in the mirror; her face, tear stained, but no blood. Fearing she has finally completely lost her mind, she crumples in a heap on the bathroom floor. Still staring at the speckles of blood on her arms and the smears on her palms, a whisper of a voice is heard above the pounding of her heart. "Sadie, this blood is for you."

The rain is falling on this cool spring day and huddled under a bridge of a neighborhood park, sits a lonely young man.  Empty beer and soda cans, candy wrappers, paper bags, and dirty discarded needles are the carpet in his home.  A shopping cart harbors every belonging he has left in his life and a green garbage bag is his shelter from the rain that falls through the cracks of the bridge above him. His body is trembling, not from the cold dampness of the rain, but because his body craves relief from withdrawal. His scrambled thoughts struggle to focus.

He never thought this would be his life.  He hadn't aspired to be a homeless addict, who begged and stole to support this habit that has consumed him. On the contrary, he had always wanted a career in law enforcement; to follow in his father's footsteps. He had the perfect childhood. He grew up in a middle class neighborhood with both parents who loved him dearly. And then one day, everything changed. His father was gone; dead from a heart attack and he was the one who found him.  That image was imprinted on his brain with indelible ink. He lashed out at everyone around him and began to binge drink and party. To his family and everyone who knew him, he was just a thug, a trouble maker, but on the inside, he was dying bit by bit. Sober thoughts only led back to that horrific day. But alcohol and drugs created a euphoria that no one could understand, emptiness, thoughtlessness and numbness. Even as he sits convulsing in pain from withdrawal the image of his father haunts his thoughts and the pain of that day is almost greater than the pain of withdrawal.

Just as that day has been imprinted in his mind, so are the disparaging remarks that those who claimed to love him made. You are worthless! You're a thug! You disgust me! You smell! You should be ashamed of yourself! Look what you're doing to your family! You are an embarrassment to your family! This young man sits under the bridge empty and alone.

Drip, drip, drip, is the sound of water hitting the garbage bag that protects his head, but now he feels the trickle of something down his right cheek and again on the left. He takes his dirty hand and wipes his face, sure that it is rain that has found a chink in his armor. Wiping his hand on his jeans, he notices the red color of blood. Another drip and then another and when he looks at his hand it is covered in blood. He staggers to his feet, barely able to support his own weight and rummages through the shopping cart for the broken mirror that is among his prized possessions. As he lifts it to his face, he expects that this is somehow the end for him; that his addiction has finally caused this random hemorrhaging.  But as he peers at the image in the broken mirror, there is no blood, yet every drip he wipes away appears in red on his hand. From over his shoulder, whisper comes, "Andrew, this blood is for you." 

Exhausted, she collapses onto the sofa.  Toys litter the floor and dinner dishes are piled high in the sink.  After a twelve hour shift, homework, dinner and baths, she has nothing left.  In eight short hours it will start all over.  On the day she said, "I do", she never envisioned herself alone and raising three small children.  She had had it all; a husband, three beautiful children, a home in the suburbs, and a mini-van. She gave up her career the day she and her husband found out they were expecting their first child and had remained home from that point on. Her job was to raise their girls, keep the house tidy and have dinner ready when her husband returned home. It was the best career she could ask for.

After 10 years of marriage, slowly things began to change. Her husband began missing family dinners and children's parties.  His hours became longer at work and what time he did spend at home was with their girls. She began to think that it was because of her. She hadn't lost all the baby weight and she didn't always look the best when her husband came home. So, she began to diet and workout. She made sure her hair was combed, makeup on, and she was out of sweats when and if her husband came home.  But he still showed no interest and his time at home became less and less.

On a snowy, Monday morning as she made her way to the kitchen to prepare breakfast, she found an envelope with her name on it, perched on the counter against the coffee machine. Her heart sank instantly as if it already knew what the letter would say.  Her husband was gone and he wasn't coming back.  He had met someone and had fallen out of love with her.  Her heart could hardly believe what her eyes were reading.  Her life had completely changed in a six line letter.

Now, working again as a nurses aide, just to pay rent on a two bedroom apartment and food the table, she wonders if she can continue to do it.  Instead of sleep, she musters the strength to clean up the toys and wash the dishes, before she has to sit at the table to figure out what bill she can pay. Electric, water, cable, rent, food, or new shoes for the girls.  As she separates the bills into piles and stares at the near empty bank account, she feels something hit her on top of the head and then again. She looks up expecting the ceiling to burst open but there is no sign of anything.  "I'm really losing it," she thinks to herself and looks back to her bills.  Splatter after splatter of blood cover the bills and her checkbook. Certain, she must be bleeding from somewhere, she grabs the closest thing she can, the toaster. As she scans her face and pushes her hair back from her forehead, she is startled at the whisper that comes from beside her, "Julie, this blood is for you."

Whose stories are these? They can or could be the story of any one of us. Somewhere right now, someone is lost in depression. Somewhere right now, an addict doesn't see any other way. Somewhere right now, a single Mom or Dad is struggling to just get by.  Somewhere right now, someone received a cancer diagnosis.  Somewhere right now, someone is saying a final goodbye to someone they love.  Somewhere right now, someone is holding on to anger, unable to forgive. Somewhere right now, a young child is being lure into a gang or being assaulted by someone they trust.  Somewhere right now, someone feels like they have nothing left to live for.
But there is that Whisper...if we just listen. This blood is for you.

The blood that Jesus Christ shed on the cross was not for the perfect person. IMPOSSIBLE! There are no perfect people. The blood that Jesus Christ shed on the cross was for the addict, the worn out parent, the homeless, the person beaten down by depression, the prostitute, the banker, the check out clerk, the pastor and the painter. Luke 19:10 tells us, "The Son of Man came to seek and save the lost."  Let's face it, we are all lost, in one way or another. His blood is in discriminate. It was shed for any who believe in His death and resurrection for the forgiveness of our sins.

In a few days, Christians around the world will recognize with somber humility Good Friday, the day of His Crucifixion. As those spikes are driven into His hands and feet, with each drop of blood that hits the ground, I believe He is saying, "Cathy, this blood is for you,"  and "____________ this blood is for you." You fill it in, He already did the hard part.

Until next time, may the Whisper be ever present in your heart.
Have a Blessed Easter!
He Is Risen!

Cat

Cat's Chat: Those Without Sin, Feel Free to Throw Rice

Cat's Chat: Those Without Sin, Feel Free to Throw Rice: It's been awhile since I have been inspired to write and I probably stand to get some negative feedback on this post, but I can no longe...

Those Without Sin, Feel Free to Throw Rice

It's been awhile since I have been inspired to write and I probably stand to get some negative feedback on this post, but I can no longer sit quietly by. I've tried to remain silent, keeping my opinions to myself, but when every piece of news and my Facebook page is bombarded, everyday, by the Ray Rice scandal, now, I speak.

First and foremost, I am going on the record to say that I, in NO way, condone, accept or have any tolerance for domestic violence or any violence, period.  I have been a witness to what domestic violence does to the victim and I have counseled ladies who are victims of domestic violence. I am the first to say, "If you are being abused, physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually, get out! Protect yourself!" I would say this to a woman or a man, because while it is not publicized frequently, we all know that abuse happens to men as well as women. These are situations where abuse is ongoing, frequent, and the abuser doesn't or won't recognize what he or she is doing. With that being said, I want to share my thoughts on the Ray Rice situation.

When the first video surfaced of Ray dragging his then fiancé out of the elevator and it was announced that charges were filed for assault, I knew there had to be more to the story than what the public was seeing and after the "timely" release of the second video, I was right.  What, I or any of us are not aware of, is what transpired before the elevator incident. Both Ray and Janay have admitted that they were both intoxicated and it is obvious that there was "mutual combat" as was evident both inside and outside of the elevator, documented in the surveillance video.  Again, it is NEVER right to put your hands on another person in anger and there is NEVER a "good" excuse.  Ray openly admitted that what he did was wrong. Janay opening accepted responsibility for her part in the altercation and forgave her fiancé for his actions.  Even the prosecution, didn't feel that this was an ongoing cycle of abuse warranting jail time, but agreed that Ray Rice should participate in pre-trial counseling; which he did.  His now wife, Janay, gave an impassioned speech to the NFL stating that nothing like this had ever happened before or since that incident.  Is that the truth? Only they know. What has been reported is that they both have been participating in counseling since.  When the NFL, gave Ray a 2 game suspension for violating the code of conduct clause, I thought it was ridiculous. Again, there is no way to know what was going on the mind of Roger Goodell at that time. I believe that the NFL had received and viewed the video in full when they made that decision, but their hope was that it was never going to be released to the public. That is pure speculation on my part. But then, someone wanted the big payoff from TMZ for the video and voila the airways exploded as did the court of public opinion and with it went the lives of Ray, Janay and their daughter. Now, covering their butts, the NFL suspends Ray Rice indefinitely from the game, his job and the Ravens to "protect" their image, release him from the team.

So here we are, a scandalous investigation into who knew what and when; a man has been torn apart in the media and the court of public opinion; he has been stripped of his ability to do the job he had and provide for his family and it leaves me thinking about a lot of things. Who gets to decide that a one time incident of abuse deserves a harsher punishment than 2 rape charges or spending time in jail for dog fighting? Who is pulling the strings, the NFL or the public? But I guess the biggest thing I wonder about is when did it become okay as a society to publicly lynch someone for something they have done wrong and accepted responsibility for? I find this particularly difficult to swallow when it comes from those who wear the title of Christian.

I have been guilty of judging others and I have been the recipient of others judgment. I have focused on the wrong someone else has done without considering my own failures. Matthew 7:5 says, "You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."  I have not always led a life where I considered the results of my actions. For a good part of ten years, I harbored an anger that manifested itself in very destructive ways. I used drugs and alcohol to self-medicate and with that I unleashed my anger on everyone around me; family, friends, and perfect strangers. I would open my mouth and vile, disgusting, hurtful words would flow like vomit. Really tick me off and I would throw punches like a man. I didn't have a problem hitting my little sister, my mother, my boyfriend or punching some guy in a parking lot because I didn't like the way he looked at me. There but by the grace of God go I, that I was never charged with assault. It took the love and patience of a good man and a Mom who never gave up me to bring about a change in me; a change that made me consider the needs of others rather than my own. For once I considered how my words would affect another. I learned that harsh words leave an indelible imprint on the heart of the person they are heaped on.

Some twenty years later, I am still reminded of my past and current failures. It can be someone reminding me that I was a horrible teenager that no one thought could ever be redeemed or someone saying, "you smell like smoke" reminding me that I still have a vice. What I am getting at is that I'm not perfect. You are not perfect. No one is perfect. We all have things we have done that we wish we could undo, but unfortunately we can't. I sometimes think that it's easier to look at and focus on the faults (speck in the eye) of another then to remember that we have a giant plank in our own eye.  You may not have committed assault against someone, but you may be guilty of injuring someone's character, affected someone's marriage, stolen, lied, or any number of things we wouldn't want to be judged for.  Imagine for one minute if one thing you regretted doing suddenly became public knowledge and was plastered all over the news and social media. Then people you have never met and even people who know you decided to ignore all the positive in you and judge you by that mistake. How would you feel?  I know I would be devastated.

In the Book of John, Chapter 8, the teachers of the law and Pharisees, brought a woman into the temple courts where Jesus was teaching. She was accused of committing adultery, so they questioned Jesus what they should do with her, stating that the law of Moses required that they stone her. Jesus bent down and began to write in the sand and they continued to question Him. Jesus stood and said, "If any of you are without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." He bent down and began to write in the sand again. After hearing this the men began to leave one at a time, the older men first.  A moment later Jesus stood and asked the woman, "Where have they gone? Has no one condemned you?" "No," she replied.  "Neither do I," Jesus said. "Now go and leave your life of sin."
Bottom line, who are we to throw stones at anyone?  We've all screwed up at some point and guaranteed, we will screw up again. 

Acts 3:19 says, "Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins can be wiped away, that times of  refreshing may come from the Lord..."  The key word here is Repent.  We have to recognize when we have done wrong, admit it and change it; break the cycle.  I have heard the press conferences and have read the statements of Ray and Janay. Do I believe he recognizes what he has done? Absolutely.  Has he admitted his failure? Yes, he has. Will he change his behavior? I believe he is taking the steps needed to prevent this from happening to again.

Punishment comes along with sin and the punishment should fit the "crime". Ray has been punished, harshly, by the governing bodies at the NFL, so why do we continue to punish him on social media? Why do we take pleasure in posting parody photos of him? Should we really be taking pleasure in another man's pain? When we continuously bash someone with our words, it's abuse, we might as well be in that elevator throwing punches at both of them.  The only difference, we are throwing jabs while hiding behind a computer screen. 

So, let's throw down the stones people and let the "powers that be" handle this. In the famous words of a fluffy little bunny named, Thumper, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." One day you may find yourself on the receiving end of a social media firestorm, begging to be left alone.

Until next time, the only stones I'm throwing are in a pond!
God Bless,
Cat

Still Waiting

Hello friends! It sure has been a while since I have written! It has not been for lack of trying, but as those who follow me know, I don't write with out the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Believe me when I tell you, there have been many times I have sat down and wanted to write about something but the words just wouldn't flow. I am certain this was an exercise by the Spirit that James talks about in Chapter 3 about taming the tongue.  I also believe that I was so embroiled in the turmoil of my life, that if the Spirit was trying to speak to me, I wasn't listening.  But, I am back and I am listening! So here goes...

The past 6 months have brought about many changes in my life. Many of which, I was not ready to accept. Change for me is hard! I don't like it and I will certainly fight it. Satan, knows this about me and he uses it to break me down and tear me apart and that is just what I allowed to happen. Instead of arming myself with the infallible promises of Jesus, I tried to reason, rectify, and rely only on my own understanding. Trust me when I say this NEVER works. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He's the one who will keep you on track. (MSG)

For years, my life and my ministry seemed to be laid out nice and neat in front of me. I was comfortable and going with the flow so to speak when suddenly, everything I knew to be normal was turned upside down. The ministry I had been so comfortable in was now a source of pain; joy was replaced with dread; clarity of my mission was now clouded and I found myself feeling like I didn't belong in an area I had served in for the past five years. Despite all of this, I tried my very best to continue to function in the capacity I was so use to. But in spite of my best efforts, I just couldn't do it. This left me feeling like the Israelites, who left what was familiar to go to the foreign land where God was sending them, only to continuously fail to yield to God's leading. Thus, leaving them wandering in the desert for 40 years. I wasn't in a foreign land, yet I felt like a foreigner; I wasn't among strangers, yet I felt like an alien; I wasn't letting God lead me, so I was left feeling lost and confused.  What now? Where am I suppose to be?

So many questions swirled in my head and with all that uncertainty, accusations from the great accuser himself, Satan, flooded my mind. "You are a failure!" "You are not worthy!" "You can't serve in ministry! You'll just screw it up!" "Look at you, you're pathetic and weak!" "Just quit already! Loser!" I spent many nights, staring at the ceiling, hearing these insults and starting to believe them. I questioned my Christianity and my effectiveness. I wondered what purpose I could possibly serve if I wasn't doing what I had been doing all these years.  I pondered my abilities to serve anywhere and found myself becoming more and more afraid to even examine other opportunities; and when I did serve, I questioned my ability and therefore did so quite guarded.

I finally sat with a wonderful woman, who is a great spiritual mentor, and explained my dilemma. After listening to my concerns and fears, she remarked that there was one common phrase I had continued to use throughout my conversation, "I'm tired". I hadn't even realized how many times I had said those words until she brought them to my attention.  She assured me that it was okay to be tired and although she assured me I didn't need permission, she gave me permission not to serve in any particular ministry. I must admit after hearing her say that, I felt a tremendous relief.  I had been serving in some capacity at my church since I started there in 1997 and I was afraid not to be serving somewhere now.

After this mentoring session, I spent a lot of time in prayer, being very specific with God about my need for guidance and this time I listened for Him to speak.  What I heard was not what I expected. What I thought I would hear is, "You need to serve here..." but what I heard instead was, "How can you effectively serve others, when you are not effectively serving yourself?" Sounds kind of selfish doesn't it but after I thought about it, it made perfect sense. I was such a mess emotionally and spiritually, that I hadn't taken time to really be in the Word. There was so much noise in my head that I couldn't have heard the voice of His leading, even if I wanted to.  I should have trusted the words of James 1:5 "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault." 

I have taken "time off" to work on myself and my spirituality. I understand that I cannot be effective in any area, unless I am effective in my own walk with God. In order for me to minister to others, I must minister to myself. Jesus explains true service like this: "Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. for apart from me you can do nothing. Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers. Such branches are gathered into a pile and burned. But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask anything you want, and it will be granted! When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great joy to my Father." (NLT) If I am to bear fruit through ministry, I must draw on the nourishment that is the Word of God.

For now, I will be content in being still. I am filling up my spiritual cup and will lean on the guidance of the One who knows me. While I won't be serving in a specific ministry, I will however continue to serve whenever the need presents itself and The Spirit will make that clear.  I trust God will lead me to a specific area of ministry when He feels my time has come and until then, I will trust in these words, "Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10.

Until next time, I'll be waiting,
Cat